Split Decisions

I am watching two squirrels play outside my bedroom window this morning. The sun is out with only a few summer clouds in the sky. It's Saturday, which calls for a pool and a little rum. (Rum?)

It'd be so nice to be as carefree as these two little squirrels. Dancing around, chasing each other up and down the trees, flipping and hopping. It seems they haven't a care in the world. I wish I could go about my day in such fashion.

I am good at faking such an attitude of adolescent objectivity in my facade you all see, but inside it's much more troubling, more complex. A web of honesty and deceit. A labyrinth of responsibilities and requirements, caverns of lies and truths. A partition dividing my conscious into sane and incoherent, separating my good feelings into passion and revenge.

Behind the exterior, in all of us I believe, lies a morbid individual. A judgemental carnivore. Behind the smile, a damaging scowl. Opposite my confidence, there is a vulnerable child.

You may have to dig a little to see it. My old friends all saw it, but I took a lot of acid back then and let the whole world see the truth. But we are much better than that now right? (Are we? Who's we?) Over the last 8 years of 'growing up' I have learned to hide myself behind, well, myself.

And even the me behind myself loves these two little squirrels dancing in the front yard outside my bedroom window. I wonder if they are hiding anything...