I think I have figured out something today. Not like the key to life or anything but a very important ideal with regard to character, and relationships.
Lies are the splinters that infect our culture. They are the manifestation of the disapproval we have for ourselves. We never lie about the things we are proud of. We only lie about the thing we feel horrible about so the one we lie to doesn't see our flawed soul.
But when the lie comes out is also where our honor is tested. We become so scared that we have been discovered as dishonorable that we continue to dig deeper into our blackness.
I think it hurts to be lied to. Hell I have lied so many times to so many people that I could never rebuild all my burnt bridges.
I was lied to. In fact the person who lied to me has enough guilt for the things they do, that they have been transfering that guilt into accuations for me. I have assumed that there has been a miscommunication on my part to make sure myself was understood. I have been devoutly trying to be convincing of my truest feelings without success. Thankfully it wasn't me.
Today I feel free. I know that I am not what I have been told I was. Lesser than everyone, a beautiful liar. Today I discovered I am just like everyone else. A judgemental carnivore.
Crossroads are before me. A change in my direction. An ability to unchain myself to a worthless dream. I thought it would hurt to let go. Maybe I'd mourn forever. Ahh I can see the future now...
They gave me poison for food, and for my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink, It is finished.
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